Logo Rankings #3: AHL

I haven’t updated Ness Sports in forever…. but here we go with the AHL, top minor league of the NHL.

30. ABBOTSFORD HEAT

I don’t see any “heat” here. A wordmark with a puck. Wow. Why didn’t they try to redesign or resurrect the Atlanta Flames logo?

29. MILWAUKEE ADMIRALS

All I see is a dead pirate. Ooo, how scary. NOT! Nothing that’s dead scares me. Unless it’s a zombie that wants to eat my fucking brains out. Plus baby blue doesn’t appeal as a hockey color.

28. PEORIA RIVERMEN

This is way too busy, the captain looks constipated, and why the hell is he biting the puck?

27. ALBANY DEVILS

The 2001 Stanley Cup Finals combatants had a baby and this is the result. BRING BACK THE RIVER RATS

26. CHICAGO WOLVES

The puck and stick are too much and the wolf looks like it was in Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” music video.

25. ADIRONDACK PHANTOMS

Why oh WHY did they get rid of purple from the color scheme? It made the most kickass jerseys and takes away a degree of awesome. The concentric circles, which I ranted about in the baseball rankings, also hurt.

24. WORCESTER SHARKS

When it was first revealed it was last. Now that San Jose changed their logo a little, it’s a bit better. But it’s one of the things where I hate the team having the same name as the pro team. They sold out the IceCats throwback night, why not bring that identity back?

23. WILKES-BARRE/SCRANTON PENGUINS

I did this mostly to spite the front office that has mistreated fans for a while, but I also dislike the circle and the red. Plus they have far too many special event jerseys, and the third-jersey-every-year is getting old.

22. TEXAS STARS

Like: how it combines the two shades of green the parent club has used over the years, dislike: the similarities with the pro club.

21. SYRACUSE CRUNCH

He looks like he’s high on crack. However, it’s not very easy to make a logo for a team called the “Crunch”. They did a decent job. I liked it better with the Jackets colors, though.

20. PROVIDENCE BRUINS

Another case of parent club copying. It’s only this high because I’ve always liked the Bruins logo in Boston and the one in Providence is more like the pre-2007 one. Though the P makes no sense (the B with the spokes signified the “Hub of the World”)

19. BINGHAMTON SENATORS

Forever remembered by Broome County residents as the first to net the area a Calder Cup, it looks like a drunk Trojan. Still better than the first one (a constipated guy in Halloween trying to play hockey).

18. TORONTO MARLIES

I get that they tried to honor the Toronto Marlboros. Yet this logo looks NOTHING like it. The Marlies wordmark is terrible, and the crossed sticks are too much. Fix! Fix!

17. HERSHEY BEARS

They replaced a successful, traditional logo with this one? The gradient is unnecessary and the bear signifies the fact that the Bears are a dirty, dirty team.

16. CHARLOTTE CHECKERS

I get why they’re called the Checkers (NASCAR reference). Yet what does the Coca-Cola bear have to do with ANYTHING?! I do like red, black, and white colors though.

15. BRIDGEPORT SOUND TIGERS

The tiger looks like it has a mustache. I also liked it better with blue, black, and white. The blue is a bit bright.

14. CONNECTICUT WHALE

DA-DA-DA-DADADADADA, DA-DA-DADADADA DAAAAAAA! BRASS BONANZA! Love the Whalers identity, though the Connecticut Whalers proto logo was better.

13. PORTLAND PIRATES

Doesn’t look very scary. However, their jerseys are decent. The original logo was still better, though.

12. OKLAHOMA CITY BARONS

I love everything about this logo EXCEPT that wordmark. The wordmark is very ugly and needs to be cleaned up. Otherwise this is a top 5 logo.

11. HAMILTON BULLDOGS

That bulldog looks TOUGH. The bone is unnecessary and the blue is a bit bright.

10. HOUSTON AEROS

The face on the airplane (which is a bomber of some sort) is stupid, but the colors go well with a military theme. Fitting how you have the Aeros and Rockets in the same building.

9. NORFOLK ADMIRALS

Bombs away! *boom* A puck just sank a ship??? That may be why Milwaukee’s is dead! Seriously though, a very cool concept.

8. LAKE ERIE (Cleveland) MONSTERS

Killer jerseys and that monster is creepy as hell. Reminds me of the devil from the old St. John’s Fog Devils logo. Either way, solid logo.

7. MANCHESTER MONARCHS

Every single color from the Kings’ existence in SoCal is present, and the lion is a royal symbol. Looks awesome and the jerseys rock too.

6. ROCKFORD ICEHOGS

The font, the name, and the colors all make you think: It’s a family experience. The IceHogs have great fan support and a solid identity.

5. SPRINGFIELD FALCONS

That falcon looks like it’s about to kill someone. The Jackets’ colors rock and the falcon looks like it’s about to go in for the kill.

4. SAN ANTONIO RAMPAGE

The Spurs’ colors work well here, and that bull looks PISSED. If you don’t agree, try looking a bull like THAT, in real life, in the face, without pissing your pants.

3. ST. JOHN’S ICECAPS

The name sucks but has grown on me. The colors look great, the wordmark is nice, and the NFLD/Labrador map in the icecap is a nice touch. Terrific logo for the Jets’ farm team.

2. GRAND RAPIDS GRIFFINS

Why oh WHY don’t more teams use mythological creatures like griffins and dragons as names? If they were real they’d be some scary shit. This logo signifies speed, smarts, and strength, and the colors look good.

1. ROCHESTER AMERICANS

Classic and traditional. That’s what this logo is. You don’t need intimidation, just traditional design and a clean look. They make awesome jerseys. It’s no wonder this is the longest-lasting logo in the AHL still used today, having been used since 1972.

That will do it!
Next I don’t know. Stay tuned.

Logo Rankings #2: MLB

Note: This is the PRIMARY LOGO, not the CAP INSIGNIA. Those are overused wayyy too often.

Let’s go.

30. Detroit Tigers

We see the Detroit (D). But where the hell’s the tiger? And it’s way too plain and boring. Bring back the pre-2006 one (WITH a tiger).

29. Boston Red Sox

They’re my favorite team, but this is boring. Two red socks. Whoop-de-freaking-do.

28. Atlanta Braves

Well, at least it’s better than the Native American Michael Jackson, but it’s still boring as hell. A script over a tomahawk…SWEET! Sike…

27. Oakland ATHLETICS

One thing straight: THEY ARE CALLED THE OAKLAND ATHLETICS, NOT THE OAKLAND A’S. GET IT RIGHT SOCIETY. The first of a disturbing trend of cap-insignia-inside-concentric-circles-with-team-name. Actually, the Expos might have been first….

26. Chicago White Sox

You already know that I hate wordmarks as logos. And this is in boring colors too.

25. Chicago Cubs

Go Ubs! I just got a bulls-eye! haha moving on…

24. San Francisco Giants

Where’s the giant? Other than the giant all-caps text…

23. Tampa Bay Rays

The only thing saving this is the sunburst. Otherwise, this is in the bottom 5.

22. Cincinnati Reds

Another wordmark. Please bring back Mr. Redleg (WITH THE MUSTACHE GODDAMMIT). This is B-O-R-I-N-G. Or even better, why not have many of these teams change their names? Reds, Red Sox, Cubs, etc.

21. Minnesota Twins

The only good logo with the sport they are playing in the logo is the CFL Hamilton Tiger-Cats. This also sucks, and is a concentric circle of boredom.

20. Houston Astros

Wordmark + Cap Insignia = NO. JUST NO. Why it is even this high is beyond me.

19. San Diego Padres

Is this a baseball team or a laundry detergent? It’s actually being changed for 2011. The new logo has yet to be revealed.

18. Baltimore Orioles

From too busy to too boring. Epic fail Baltimore, epic fail. Bring back the cartoon oriole!

17. Texas Rangers

They’ve never had a good logo, to be honest. Except for the late ’90s one. That was boss. (why do I like so many late 90s logos?)

16. Pittsburgh Cellar-Dwellers… I mean Pirates.

Too busy and it looks like the pirate is constipated from having a ladybug on his head.

15. Washington Nationals

The new unis are boss, and that’s what saves this logo. Other than that, it’s another concentric circle cap insignia.

14. Los Angeles Angels…of Anaheim

Simple yet effective. Awesome jerseys too. And of course, the epicly long name. Too bad I’m a Red Sox fan, they’re one of my more favorite AL teams.

13. New York Mets

Only the Mets, Islanders, and Knicks use New York’s official colors. And this is awesome. The baseball ruins it from going any higher. I only like equipment in my hockey logos, thanks.

12. Toronto Blue Jays

Cool wordmark, and the blue jay looks like he’s about to kick your ass. But why did they mess with a good thing and get rid of the old Jays logo? That was classic.

11. Los Angeles Dodgers

If this wasn’t classic, it would be MUCH MUCH MUCH lower. Maybe even last. Equipment + Wordmark + Nothing Else = No, unless it’s classic like this.

10. Cleveland Indians

If this was any higher, I’d be killed by the PC police. Chief Wahoo is classic. The creepy smile is showing that the players are having fun playing baseball!

9. St. Louis Cardinals

In the two Logo Rankings (NHL and MLB) I’ve done so far, only St. Louis and Phoenix have two teams in the top 10.

8. Arizona Epiclylongnamebacks

The colors are perfect for the desert. I miss the purple and teal though. Bring it back!!

7. Kansas City Royals

Clean and simple. Love the crown-and-shield. The only killer is the damn wordmark.

6. Colorado Rockies

Once again, wordmarks kill. And the baseball hurts, but it gives the impression of a high fly ball going over the mountains – HOME RUN! By the way, there was an NHL team called the Rockies that moved a decade before the MLB team was formed. The NHL Rockies are now the New Jersey Devils.

5. Seattle Mariners

Cool, until you see the pitchfork M it replaced… my sim hockey team uses that.

4. Philadelphia Phillies

Perfect logo and colors for Philadelphia baseball.

3. Milwaukee Brewers

Perfect combination of beer brewing (barley) and baseball (wordmark, the baseball itself). The MB was better, though. That was as creative as the HW the Hartford Whalers used.

2. New York Fagkees

Sucks when you’re a Red Sox fan and you have to rank logos… but this is a good logo. The uncle-sam-hat-on-a-bat-forming-the-long-part-of-the-K is classic. It’s also, along with the swastika and 666, one of the most evil symbols ever

And, just like in the 2003 World Series…
1. FLORIDA MARLINS

Ah, the Marlins beat the Yankees again! The fish jumping through a ring makes for a cool effect, and the colors are the big reason the Marlins are #1.

Next up, NBA logo rankings.

Until then, be a boss.

Logo Rankings #1: NHL

I will be ranking the logos from the following leagues:

NHL

NBA

NFL

MLB

CFL

AFL

AHL

NBA D-League

AAA Baseball

UFL

AA Baseball

CHL (Both pro Central League and major junior Canadian League; will be broken into the QMJHL, OHL, and WHL)

A Baseball (MAYBE)

So without further ado, number 30 to number 1, how i like the logos:

30.  Toronto Maple Leafs

And the hate begins early. But this is a boring-ass logo. It’s basically a leaf behind the most boring font in sports history.

29. Vancouver Canucks

THIS IS NOT ANTI-CANADA BIAS! I actually LOVE Canada (Save for the Habs) and the people of Canada. But what the hell does an orca have to do with a canuck? A canuck is another term for a Canadian, just to tell you.

28. Atlanta Thrashers

This eyesore (What the fuck is it supposed to be? It looks like a bowl with a hockey stick in the middle of it) may not be around much longer, looking at the Thrashers’ questionable future in Atlanta. (A thrasher is a bird, for your information). I liked the Origami T though. It looked epic on the jersey.

27. Washington Capitals

It’s a wordmark. Make the shoulder patch primary. This is boring…

26. Carolina Hurricanes

Toilet bowl flush. Moving on…

25. Dallas Stars

Shouldn’t have moved the North Stars – let alone ditch their beloved N-Star – in the first place. Maybe then Dallas and Minny would get along.

24. Edmonton Oilers

Why did they ditch the traditional orange-and-royal-blue for copper and navy blue anyway? And what’s the point of the red, I only see it as an outline on the road and alternate jerseys!

23. Anaheim Ducks

If it were still just the script, this would be much worse.

22. LA Kings

Bring back the coat-of-arms with the crossed sticks. That was awesome. The problem was, the jerseys sucked ass.

21. Ottawa Senators

I hope to God I’m not the only person who thinks of the Trojan Condom man when i see this… if i am, then FML.

20. Columbus Blue Jackets

Anything’s better than their original. They keep getting better, too – the new alternate jersey is my #1 favorite alternate in the NHL. Even beating my own Penguins.

19. New Jersey Devils

The only thing saving this, is the three Stanley Cups they’ve won with this. Who needs Kovalchuk, BRING BACK KENNY D! (except not really he’s probably like 50ish)

18. New York Rangers

Why do they even have this when it’s not even on their jerseys? And don’t you dare fuck with those classic jerseys.

17.  Tampa Bay Lightning

The only thing saving this is the lightning bolt itself. It looks like it’s gonna kick your ass.

16. Florida Panthers

If they change this, maybe they’ll start winning. It’s good, but not great.

15. Philadelphia Flyers

It took me years to even find the P. I was so stupid back then…

14. Colorado Avalanche

They picked good colors. And it’s got two Cups to boot.

13. New York Islanders

Bossy. Trottier. Potvin. Smith. Stanley Cups. That is what this classic logo brings to my mind. And it may be in the future for a young, soon-to-be-exciting Islanders team. Hopefully they can get a new arena…

12. Calgary Flames

Nothing still compares to the old Atlanta Flames logo, however. That was badass.

11. Boston Bruins

ClassIC and ClassY. That is what this is. Espo, Orr, and the Big Bad Bruins of the late ’60s-early’70s. I always think of Orr flying through the air when I see any incarnation of the Spoked B.

10. Phoenix Coyotes (Sadly)

The only problem are the colors. They make the coyote look more like a fox. Sadly, this team still exists, unbeknownst to the people of Glendale.

9. Pittsburgh Penguins

Why did Baldwin bring in the Triangular Penguin? It was cool, but replacing something immortal like the Skating Penguin… bad move. Just like many of his decisions when he ran the Pens.

8. Detroit Red Wings

The origin of the Winged Wheel: When James Norris played hockey, he played for the Montreal Amateur Athletic Association (the same one that won the inaugural Stanley Cup in 1893), also known as the Winged Wheelers. When Norris bought the then-Falcons, he changed their name to the Red Wings and their logo to a winged wheel. It actually has nothing to do with the Motor City.

7. Minnesota Wild

Clever logo here. The star is the bear’s eye, the sun is its ear, the river its mouth… nice job design team!

6. Nashville Predators

Intimidating and with ferocious overbite. The sabertooth tiger was modeled after a fossil found during construction of a building in Nashville in 1971.

5. San Jose Sharks

Intimidating, teal, and about to kick your ass. Too bad they’re struggling this year. That’s what they get for letting Nabokov go. (he may be headed to the Wings)

4. St. Louis Blues

Why the hell did they add red in the 80s? I know they had two teams called the Cardinals, but just… Blues + red = NO FUCKING WAY.

3. Chicago Blackhawks

Tradition. Classic. Classy. And the best jerseys in the NHL. That is what the Black Hawk portrait logo is all about. It’s remained the same since expansion.

2. Montreal Canadiens

Les Habitants have given the “CH” a Cup as often as the NY has given the Yankees a World Series (I mean bought). This logo is classic. If it or the jerseys are ever changed, people in Montreal will riot.

1. BUFFALO SABRES

Classic with an update. Worst to first in terms of logo and jersey. Nice job Buffalo. The Buffaslug sucked, and I didn’t care for the Buffalo Head, except for the colors. The colors on that were epic. Why did they change everyone’s favorite logo in 1996?

Anyways, that’s it. The Sabres win the best logo in the NHL. Next time we will do the best logos in MLB.

Until then, be a boss.

Hi blogosphere.

First time blogging like ever, so yeah.

My name is Casey and i’m 15 years old. Massive sports nut.

My favorite sports are hockey, speed skating, Canadian or Arena football, and lacrosse.

I live in Pocono Summit, PA. That’s like 45 minutes outside of Scranton.

That’s as much as you’re getting from this guy. From now on, it’s sports and NOTHING else.

By the way NFL fans, don’t expect anything outside of the logo rankings. I actually HATE the NFL.

My nickname is Ness and some of my close friends call me that. Feel free to call me Ness, Casey, or Patrick (middle name).